About me

Failure, and not feeling like one.

For a few years I used to drive around in my car without a license. I didn't agree with having a license because lets be honest, its my car and I can use it. Nobody gets a toaster license, so why do I need a car license? It was a combination of this warped logic, and the fact that I was lazy as hell that I still don't have a license.

So one day I'd had enough of this no-license situation. God tuned me to fix my life, and not use the car anymore, and to respect the authorities. And so I decided to get a drivers license. I had my learners license and booked my test. I'd taken lessons, and was focused on getting the license. This morning I went to take the test and I failed. I made some silly mistake and got failed for it. Whatever. But with this failure, I felt like a failure.

In my head I'd imagined becoming 'awesome' once I had a car. I could suddenly get a car and use it legally (I've given my car away, so I'd need to get a new one). I could ask a girl out on a date, and not have to ask her to pick me up on the way. I could offer people lifts if they needed to go somewhere. I could say "my car or yours?" and then we could go in my car. Pretty much I would become awesome. I would reach a level where men would tip their hats, and ladies would swoon.

Now this is obviously ridiculous, but its how I felt. I think its a fairly silly way to think. Because really acceptance isn't wrapped up in whether I have a license or not. Its got to do with a lot more. And once I have my license people probably aren't going to throw a parade in my honour. I'd like that, but its probably not going to happen. Even if they did. In a few hours the parade would be over. I'd go home, make a chilli chicken burger, and watch some series with my housemates.

Life isn't about levels. Its about progression. And I'm progressing all the time. So I'm quite over feeling like a loser just 'cause I didn't pass. I'm

1 comment:

  1. dude, why am i not subscribed to your blog? i always love them - thort i was then came to check and read this one and it made me laugh in a way that would have caused the humour police to demand my laugh licence, "but i don't have one" i would have said, "but it's okay because MJ doesn't even have a car licence so please get him first" - you had me at "your car or mine" - flip. different continents and we still amuse each other. well at least one of us although i suspect you amuse me too sometimes. much love and respect and a licence.